By Jenny Fotland
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January 13, 2024
I had just put the finishing touches on my new devotional journal, "30 DAILY BIBLE BITES: A Guide to Overcoming Fear, Anxiety, and Depression," when my beloved pet Kahlu suffered a severe trachea attack and it irreversibly flattened. Little did I know he would pass away in my arms the following morning with assistance from our veterinarian. Euthanasia was a heartbreaking decision but it was necessary to end his suffering; as tough as it was, we needed to let him pass peacefully. After losing my job last September due to economic reasons, I ventured into authorship and self-publishing. My hard work on this project fueled anticipation for an exciting outcome from this new endeavor. As I worked through the book, moments of profound reflection often moved me to tears – sadness for past trials juxtaposed with gratitude for divine guidance through them all. This wasn't merely a phase; it has been a lifelong journey. The incident with Kahlu reinforced the principles I've shared in my book - it's never easy letting go of anything, particularly coping mechanisms I used to heavily rely on. In times of deep sorrow like these, living up to what I advocate - leaning on faith - became more important than ever. I chose not only to allow myself time at home crying in bed rather than suppressing emotions that might erupt later but also concede that grief is indeed difficult. The realization that loved ones (including pets) are truly gone can be overwhelming. Losing Kahlu so suddenly was devastatingly painful and unexpected. His absence has left an irreplaceable void – he was more than just a pet; he was my constant companion. He was not just a funny and unique Pomeranian mix but also a burglar and peeper! He enjoyed observing me change or get ready; seizing every opportunity to spy on me (I won't go into further details!). This little rascal would steal anything that seemed food-related and stash it under my side of the bed - yes, even cat poop! We fondly called him "turd burglar" or mostly "burger", especially when he misbehaved. He was always ready to play ball, it didn't matter that he had terrible arthritis. The last full day, he was struggling to breathe and was still trying to play with me! He was very high energy, never sat still, so when he started laying in the middle of the floor during the day, I knew he was slowing down. He was on daily meds for his pain and x-rays showed he likely had liver and spleen disease, which inevitably would've taken his life, but it gave me a couple more years with him. Kahlu was more than just a pet; he was a symbol of many challenges I'd faced and overcome over the years. He had an uncanny knack for sensing my emotions, always there with hugs and snuggles during tough times. Having spent 12 out of his almost 13 years with us, his absence has left our home eerily quiet. Geoff has been sad, but also sad for me and my loss. Roca, the other dog (11) and Simi, the cat (18), seem to also be in mourning. The best thing to do has been to keep on a normal schedule and spend quality time with them. They'll be fine too, it just takes time. It's been nearly 2 weeks and I'm better now with only short moments of random tears and memories. I'll try to not picture those last moments as I lovingly laid him to rest and his cute little tongue hung out - he was always panting and hanging that thing out. Such a happy boy, he made us all happy too. Life continues, but I hold onto hope that we might meet again someday. I like to imagine Kahlu in heaven now, playing ball tirelessly with grandma without any back pain. Even if this isn't true, it doesn't matter; it's not a matter of doctrine but one of comfort until it's my turn to go someday. Until we meet again little buddy...play ball! I've dedicated my new book to Kahlu's memory. In the near future, I plan to create a pet health tracker featuring him on the cover as well. Keep an eye out for announcements about my upcoming book release: "30 DAILY BIBLE BITES: To Overcome Fear, Anxiety, and Depression." I'll make some announcements soon!
